Scrivener’s* noun definition for epithet is, “adjective or descriptive phrase expressing a quality characteristic of the person or thing mentioned.”
In case you get my brain cramps from word confusion…. Epitaph as a noun, “phrase or statement in memory of a dead person, especially as an inscription on a tombstone.”
With those explanations in mind, what’s your one-word-only epithet of self description? Quick, one word! What is it?
Why did you pick that word?
Would the people in your life be surprised by your choice or nod in quiet agreement?
My Epithet
I doubt if my acquaintances would be shocked by my choice: Instigator—“a person who brings about or initiates something.” Yep, that’s what I like to do.
My sister Jackie says that my constant flow of ideas are exhausting. I think we should do this or we ought to give that a spin and what do you think if…. Even though, as the participant in my instigated doings, she’s experienced Italy, Wales, and smaller scale excitements.
Husband Alex’s feet, firmly planted in the earth, respond to the hurtling statements above with calm, rational thought. He keeps my projects from whirling like a dervish one-into-the-other-right-now. This explains why only the kitchen table is upside down on the floor while I paint the legs. The four matching chairs are without seats and strewn through the living room while they get the same treatment. My glorious antique library table top requires a re-do and thirty-year-old dining room set is in dire need of refinishing. Alex keeps me on one project at a time, nodding as I plead, but it has to be done now.
No, really it doesn’t.
That is how my mind works—in overdrive, like a car with revving RPMs. I’m not saying each of my notions are eternally wise ones. I’m admitting that they are always there and always getting spewed out of my face. Instigator fits and if that were the only word a person ever used to describe me, I’m okay with that.
Even if they didn’t happen to mean it as a compliment.
My Epitaph
Selecting an epitaph is a harder task, especially in part because I don’t want memorialized with a tombstone. When I’m dead, and I mean Edgar Allen Poe no-bell-ringing-dead, I want (organ donation!) cremated. Give me a nice toss somewhere beautiful and soul soothing (Wales), and party. Pre-Christian, I wanted to celebrate my life. I had a good time in this old world so let’s send me out with a bang. Getting a grip on Jesus-in-my-life, I want a party because keeping the faith that heaven is waiting. Now there’s a cause to celebrate!
Hmm, let’s say someone puts together a … oh here I’ve got it, an invitation to my party. Every soirée should have a theme, what would that sentence be?
“Come one, come all! Enjoy a RoseMary shindig sending her off to the (Norman Greenbaum’s) Spirit In The Sky with style and panache! Wear comfortable clothes, bring your favorite beverage and sing-along tunes—1960s, 1970s and every available MercyMe song. Let’s instigate a heck of a party for a woman who drove us nuts while she was here. Yahoo and praise the Lord!”
Sounds like an event I’d like to attend.
What would your epitaph sentence be? This isn’t that place where we worry about being modest or humble. Pretend you are your biggest fan, which I hope you are, and how he/she would write that sentence. Come on, don’t make it difficult. Indulge in a bit of self press.
My Parents’ Epithets and Epitaphs
While there is still immense sadness for our parents’ death, grief echoing in our hearts at another anniversary of a world without them, there is also great humor in our memories.
Mom’s epithet: Complex.
Her epitaph: “There were times in our lives where her humor was so amazing she floored you with it and other times when her obstinateness could be infuriating.”
During Mom’s funeral visitation, the dominant theme was family camaraderie. We celebrated the impact the little minx had on us throughout her too short 74 years. We lifted her up from suffering and told stories about the things that made her laugh until she cried.
Dad’s epithet: Irrepressible.
His epitaph: “When the light turns green, you put your foot on the gas and go.”
When Dad passed eight months later, our home was full of family and friends. At first we worked to move out of the sadness at losing this force of nature. Then we moved into story telling and laughter as we shared anecdotes about his generous life—77 years too few. In the midst of the chaos of food and drink, of people roaming the rooms, we held an Irish Wake for our Welsh dad that he would have relished.
And so…
Returning to my Instigator epithet, my epitaph becomes, RoseMary wished to propel others toward adventures—both with her and through stories.
Grief can hold us back, paralyze us in place, or galvanize us to move boldly forward with a new life outlook. Defining our epithets and epitaphs can show us, so simply and concisely, who it is we want to be and how it is we want to live.
How about inspiring me – what are your epithets and epitaphs?
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A Few Instigations…
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See: In support of doing crazy things and Why Worry?
*Writing software by Literature and Latte
Considering I have the word tattooed on my back, “resilient” would be my one-word to take to my grave. As for a saying, I’m fond of Maya Angelou’s “When you do know better, do better” saying.
I love that word for you, Jeri! It is the perfect, tattoo, mantra, and epithet!
I want to be cremated too. Which is kind of funny being Jewish people aren’t supposed to be cremated. But that’s still what I want. But if I have a tombstone, I’d pick the word persistent. Because I think that pretty much sums it up.
I’d agree with persistent for you, Erica. You have achieved a lot and that takes the practice of sticking to it!
I don’t know about a single word, but my personal motto has always been “I’m here to help”. I take that to mean both here like in this spot right now and also: I exist. I exist to help. I feel like a single word is just not enough to capture what I am, or at least I haven’t figured out what that word is.
It can take a lot of thought to come up with that single word, Happy. And there’s no rule that says you have to–your “I’m here to help,” is a good thing to be.
What a wonderful picture with the bluebird and the banana! I have never given this much thought.
My mission statement – to impact on and influence the lives of women with difficult pasts.
Hmmm what would others say about me – committed, driven, all or nothing., straight to the point, aloof.
We call him Foster Brooks Bird–there’s a story behind that, Phoenicia. 🙂
That is a very good mission statement and matches the intent of your blog.
I would add: Kind to your attributes. You are kind.
I will say Unpredictable.
For me, I have so many interests, that also seem to contradict each other. Example: I enjoy my rural life. I like being more primitive, used to call myself a luddite. At the same time, I am also very good at 3d printing, and using the computer for graphics. I enjoy classical music, and opera. At the same time, I am a professional wrestler. I guess mine could be unpredictable, or, hodgepodge.
Isn’t it great fun being unpredictable, William? I love the cultural aspects of cities, but am happy as can be hiking out west.
Hodgepodge – very good word!
I absolutely adore that image of the bird on the banana, Rose. It reminds me of our trip to Tobago, where we had yellow birds hanging around our room and eating our fruit. Now … to answer your Q’s:
My Epithet: Smile!
My Epitaph: Doreen was put on this earth to enjoy life and help others enjoy it to the max of their ability.
And my mission statement is here: “The mission of Chocolatour is to educate, entertain, and inspire chocolate lovers to gain greater knowledge of the world of chocolate through travel.” I do that with pleasure. 🙂
I love this, Doreen! You do make me smile–every time! And I love your epitaph as well. I think you’re doing a good job at this. Mission statement–you’ve reminded me I forgot to finish this. I love yours! My statement might be: To help readers feel like they’ve traveled with her on her journeys.
PS> I love the imagery of yellow birds and fruit eating and the very sound of Tobago…
My life’s mission is to transform chaos into order, so I’ll go with “organized” for my epithet.
For my epitaph, I’ll go with:
“Although he was a nerd/geek/dweeb a lot of the time, he meant well and gave it his best.”
I think mine would be
Did the best with what he was given.
I hope i can meet up to that standard.
From what you write, William, I think you’re doing a good job of this.
Smartass, that’s me. I made a conscience decision years ago that it was better to be a smartass than a dumbass. hahaha Totally kidding.. well… kindof 🙂
For me it would be tenacious – love that word and I use it as my personal motto along with the song “How Bad Do You Want It?” 🙂
Good stuff, Marty. I love tenacity–it is a powerful word tied to determination. I have to look up that song…right now!
Honest – is word for me. Many people tell me this, so, I feel that, this actually describes me. I always try to be honest with others and me, no matter how critical the situation is.
This is what, people around me regards me for.
That is a wonderful word for people to use to describe you–and one of my favorites. We have to have those honest folks in our lives to keep us straight!
The one-word epitaph which people would choose for me is “calm.” But that is in fact all an act because inside I’m anything but.
So what are you on the inside, Ken? Fun, crazy, adventurous, wound-up, restless? Lots of great words!
Amused – because even though there is a lot in this world to stress you out and make you crazy there is much more that makes you (me) laugh or smile.
Amused is a good word for someone who writes the blog you do! I see you finding amusement all over the place and that’s great fun!
Ambitious – I always wanted to reach the next plateau. Now that I’m retired I think it should be replaced by ‘curious’ – wanting to know more about the things I’m interested in.
We’ll give you, “Curiously Ambitious and sharing it with the world,” as your epitaph, yes, Lenie?
I like it.
Having no boundaries……but I am learning this can be very detrimental to my well being so I’m working on establishing some in some areas of my life. I would like people to think of me as loving well. “She loved us ‘dis much” with a stick person and arms open wide.
I love these pictures you posted. You are a total and complete instigator!
I would totally say that, “Seester loved me ‘dis much'” with my arms and heart thrown wide open to the world. With all my faults and flaws, my champion always sticks up for me. That’s love!
It is easy to stick up for you…you are my hero!
Sigh…my number one fan. So glad we didn’t kill each other as teenagers!
Trusting would my first thought. I have been described as a kind and trusting person that at times is taken advantage of. There are time I would agree. 🙂
But isn’t it more fun to be trusting than it is to be suspicious or paranoid? I think I’d much rather err that direction, Susan.
Determined is my epithet, although if I give it a few minutes will be able to come up with something more fun! No one who knows me would disagree I think. Great blog Rose. I hope my epitaph that comes to mind (like you I’m being cremated) for folks is something like “She was loving and fun loving and knew how to make people smile and comfortable the world over”.
I think “determined” can be fun, Jamie. You are determined to do…be…experience…all of that can lead directly down the fun path. Great epitaph!
Great blog. I so much agree with your decisions on your parents and yourself! I have absolutely no idea what my adjective and noun would be. None! Perhaps my mission statement would have something to do with “To boldly go where Nadine has not gone before” but in a context of learning and doing something new – not space travel.
But would you space travel, Nadine? 🙂 I like the boldly going…you are not a timid person and wearing Bold like armor suits you!
Absolutely not, I would never space travel. Not for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I think my epithet is “persistent”.
Indomitable! Which Miriam Webster defines as incapable of being subdued:) I’m pretty sure that my dad started calling me this when I was a kid! LOL Love the whole idea of your mission statement Rose.
Great questions. Epithet: Loquacious / Epitaph: ‘Here Lies Kire Sdyor. Stop Standing on His Grave.’
Oh thank you so much for making me chuckle with your epitaph!
From your blogs and your comments on this blog, Jacquie, I can totally accept “indomitable” for you! Ha to your Dad labeling you with that as a kid–what a fun nickname to be given. Mission Statements for businesses seem to be easier than those for me personally. Maybe I’ll work on that later today!